


Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet

by DaZeli



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: AU, Animal Transformation, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-25
Updated: 2016-01-25
Packaged: 2018-05-16 02:48:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5810644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaZeli/pseuds/DaZeli
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The team is cursed; every day, a new member of the team is turned into an animal for exactly 24 hours.<br/>It brings a lot of animal shenanigans.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet

**Author's Note:**

> That's some anime shit and I don't even know why I did this except maybe for the cute fluffy animal aspect and Jack who fails at being a cat.
> 
> Thanks to [sadquebecois](http://sadquebecois.tumblr.com/) who accepted to beta this! Title is a quote from Colette.
> 
> I hope you guys have fun reading this!

The day Jack knocked on Bitty’s door and Bitty didn’t yell back at him that he was up, Jack knew there was something wrong. He opened Bitty’s door only to find the bed empty except for a small, white spotted bunny. Jack entered the room; it was weird. He would have heard Bitty leave, and he didn’t remember Bitty ever getting a pet. He kneeled down in front of the bed and observed the small creature before gently petting it.

Well, if Bitty was gone somewhere, it was useless for him to go to Faber. He thought about texting him, but Bitty had left his phone on the charger — which was also weird because Bitty never left without his cellphone. This was  _ weird _ . 

_ Maybe Bitty was in the kitchen? _ Jack thought as he picked up the tiny bunny and made his way downstairs, but there was no trace of Bitty.

The bunny jumped out of his hands and hopped on the counter, making its way to a pie Bitty had finished before going to bed the previous night that was left out for cooling. The bunny jumped around it, and Jack picked the pie up and put it in the fridge. Bitty probably wouldn’t want bunny hair in his pies.

Then something clicked in Jack’s head.

He looked at the bunny hopping around on the counter and thought that if Bitty had disappeared suddenly without even leaving a note and that he had found a bunny instead of Bitty in his bed, it could only mean one thing.

Bitty  _ was _ the bunny.

Jack made himself breakfast and tried to find something for the bunny — or Bitty if his thinking was right. He was thinking really hard about whether or not it was possible for such a thing to happen. He remembered hearing stories about weird stuff happening to hockey players, but never about them turning into adorable bunny rabbits.

He waited for the others to wake up so they could talk about whatever was going on.

-*-

About two hours later, the others came downstairs, obviously confused as to why there was a bunny in their home.

“Okay, why is there a bunny in the kitchen?” Holster asked first.

“I think Bittle turned into a bunny. I went to wake him up but he was gone, he forgot his cooling pie on the counter, and his phone was still in his room,” Jack replied.

Bitty tried to show Jack was right by tapping his little foot against the table.

“I think he’s trying to communicate with us,” Shitty said sitting down.

“Okay, first of all, what the fuck. Second of all, how the fuck,” Ransom said.

“My guess is that it’s the hockey curse. I’ve heard stories of stuff happening in the NHL. I guess it can happen to anyone who plays hockey,” Jack said.

“Alright, Bits,” Shitty started, “Let’s try to establish communication. My left hand means  _ No _ and my right hand means  _ Yes _ . I’ll ask you a question and you have to tap one of my hands. Do you understand?” He finished, showing both his hands to Bitty.

Bitty went to touch the right hand immediately.

“Alright, good. First question: are you Eric Richard Bittle who got turned into a bunny?” He asked.

_ Yes _ , Bitty replied.

“Okay, did you wake up like this?”

_ Yes _ . Bitty added silently,  _ Flawless. _

“Do you know why you suddenly turned into a bunny?”

_ No _ .

“So, I guess we’ll have to find a solution,” Shitty said.

They sat down and tried to think of something, but nothing came. They didn’t have a clue what to do. Bitty feared he would be stuck like that forever, until Jack spoke up.

“Maybe I can ask someone,” Jack said.

“Oh my fucking God, Jack, I forgot you’re hockey royalty. You probably know people who know about that stuff,” Ransom exclaimed.

“I’ll go call my dad, just… Make sure Bitty doesn’t do anything dangerous.”

Jack left the room and the others decided to eat breakfast. A few minutes later, Jack came back, and Bitty could only hope for the best.

“Well, my dad said that our best option is to wait 24 hours.”

_ Great _ , Bitty thought sarcastically.

Bitty had expected the whole day to suck, but it turned out it was rather nice. Jack decided to take responsibility for him, so he carried him around in his sweater. Being pressed against Jack’s pecs, bunny or not, was not something Bitty was going to complain about. Having Jack Zimmermann care for you for the whole day was definitely something he liked.

What he hadn’t expected was to turn back into a human in the middle of the night while sleeping in said Jack Zimmermann’s bed, with Jack Zimmermann _ in it _ .

Well, it had been an interesting experience.

-*-

The next day, everything seemed normal at the Haus — everyone was human and nothing weird seemed to have happened. Until they heard a dog barking on the front porch.

Bitty was the first to open the door and find the small black and tan Shiba Inu. When he saw him, the dog immediately jumped on him, waggling its cute little tail and barking. At first he wondered why there was a dog on the porch and why it was acting like he’d known them forever.

Once the dog got back down from him, it ran inside and immediately headed to the couch to lay down on it.

“Oh, no you poor innocent creature, do not lay on that couch. It’s dangerous,” Bitty said.

On that, the dog gave him the biggest puppy eyes and something clicked in Bitty’s head. He didn’t seem to be the only one with the same idea, because the others said it before he could even place a word.

“Holy shit, don’t tell me that…” Shitty started.

“CHOWDER!?” Ransom and Holster said at the same time, as if their brains were connected.

The dog barked at the name and wagged his tail.

“Oh my God, Chowder, you poor summer child! Don’t tell me you woke up like this and had to come all the way from the dorms without being able to open a single door,” Bitty gasped, one hand over his heart.

Chowder barked again, before making some heartbreaking whining noise. Bitty immediately petted him and hugged him. His poor baby goalie must have been so scared, waking up like that in his dorm room, trying to get out to come find him.

“It’s okay Chowder, tomorrow you’ll be back to normal don’t worry,” Bitty told him.

“What’s with all the barking?” Jack asked as he finally had woken up, “Oh, hey. Bittle’s back.”

“Chowder turned into a dog,” Shitty told him.

“Oh, so I guess it wasn’t only Bittle who was cursed,” Jack said as he went to pet Chowder, “Don’t worry Chris, you’re gonna be okay.”

Chowder barked and wagged his tail again, visibly happy. Ransom and Holster decided that an adorable dog such as sweet baby Chowder would be perfect to pick up chicks at the park, so they decided to go walk him after breakfast.

It turned out to be a very bad idea, because Chowder was not a super cooperative dog. He was too curious about everything going on around him, and he ran off all the time. When they came back, they had gotten a workout instead of a date. That’s when Bitty decided to take charge of Chowder.

Dex and Nursey, who had been too busy to witness the whole Bitty-turned-into-a-bunny ordeal, came over to the Haus later in the day. They were greeted by Chowder, who barked and jumped on them.

“Bits, why is there a dog here? Also, have you seen Chowder?” Nursey asked, sitting down as Chowder ran around Dex.

“Well, believe it or not, but Chowder turned into this dog. He’s stuck like that for the day. 

“Jack is thinking about setting up camp in here for both of you to see if the curse affects everyone,” Bitty told them.

“Is this some sort of joke?” Dex asked, not believing a single word of what Bitty just said.

“Do you think we would go buy a dog to make a joke? And since when do I participate in Ransom and Holster’s crazy plans?” Bitty replied.

“Okay, yeah, I guess,” Dex replied, obviously thinking it over.

“Don’t worry, he’ll be back to normal tomorrow morning. Yesterday, I was turned into a bunny for your information,” Bitty said.

Dex looked confused beyond words, and Nursey was smiling as if he was trying to not laugh his ass off at the whole situation. Bitty kept on baking as Chowder was still running around between the three of them.

For the rest of the day, Dex, Nursey and Bitty took turns taking care of Chowder. Bitty decided that his sweet goalie child would sleep on the couch, but not without covering it first and making sure he had enough pillows and covers. 

-*-

The next morning, Chowder was indeed sleeping soundly on the couch where the dog had been, but there was a lot of noise coming from the attic. Jack went to check up to see if everything was alright and found two wolves running around and jumping at each other.

“Guys, calm down or you’re going to destroy the place,” Jack scolded them.

They stopped and looked at Jack before rushing downstairs.

“What the FUCK?” Jack heard Shitty say.

It turned out Ransom and Holster were on a mission to scare the shit out of everyone, and they almost succeeded in making Bitty freak out. Jack decided to take the matter into his own hands and made two leashes out of rope, and he passed them around the both of them.

“We’re going for a run before you destroy the whole place and give Bittle a heart attack,” Jack said, dead serious.

Once they were back, the two looked more tired than Jack himself. At least they didn’t run into any trouble; wolves were easily mistaken for dogs, and since they didn’t act like wolves, nobody called the police on them. That was good, because Jack had to spend most of the day making sure Ransom and Holster wouldn’t accidentally hurt each other or anyone else.

Lardo, who showed up late in the day, had to sit through a long explanation and be convinced to not call the police. They concluded that every day someone else would be cursed, so Bitty decided to set camp in the living room for Dex and Nursey. Chowder was able to go back to his dorm since he had already lived through the curse.

They discussed all of this while Jack was chasing Ransom and Holster as they ran everywhere. Once Jack caught them, he was so pissed that he locked them in the basement until they calmed down and were allowed back upstairs.

-*-

The next few days went about the same way; on Wednesday, Jack woke up and had a lion in his bed who he guessed was Shitty. Nothing really happened except the few scares from the others, and a few legitimate screams from Chowder and Bitty, because Shitty decided to lay around all day.

On Thursday, Nursey, who had been sleeping in the living room with Dex since Monday, turned into a bobcat. It was Dex who found out first, because he had woken up with a giant purring bobcat sleeping on him. Nursey followed Dex around all day, rubbing himself against him and purring, much to Dex annoyance. Once it was over he they didn’t have to share the same living space anymore, since Nursey could return to his dorm. 

On Friday, it was Jack’s turn. To everyone’s surprise, he was turned into a black cat, but Jack really sucked at being an animal. He kept falling off of stuff, got his face stuck in a glass, and wouldn’t stop moving to let Bitty help. When he got his claw stuck on the curtains, Bitty had to convince Jack to let him set him free. 

Ransom and Holster had an amazing time filming everything, because Jack was the clumsiest cat in existence and youtube would certainly agree.

“Jack, stop! I’m trying to help,” Bitty kept saying as Jack was awkwardly stuck at the top of the kitchen cabinets and hissing.

“Do you or do you not want to get back down, Mister Zimmermann?” Bitty frowned.

Jack stopped hissing and let himself be picked up by Bitty, who was standing up on a chair. It was nice to be held in Bitty’s soft hands like that, so he didn’t complain.

“Jack, you are the worst cat,” Holster laughed.

“This is hilarious, bro,” Ransom laughed with him.

Jack decided to spend the whole day with Bitty instead, watching him bake and letting him pet him, which he was strangely okay with.

On Saturday, everything seemed normal until Bitty screamed about a bird in his kitchen. Shitty was the first to go check it out, and a small bird landed on him, chirping in his ear.

“Brah, I don’t think it’s just a bird,” Shitty told him.

“But Dex is still human and — Oh my goodness, Lardo!” Bitty said as the bird chirped.

Shitty grinned and laughed as Lardo was angrily pecking his earlobe for him to stop. It only made him laugh harder until Lardo decided to make a nest in Shitty’s hair.

“Ah, c’mon brah, leave my glorious mane alone,” Shitty told her, only to get chirped at and pecked.

Shitty had to spend the rest of the day with Lardo on his shoulder, but he didn’t seem to mind.

-*-

On the final day, everyone knew it was Dex’s turn. Ransom and Holster had even made a bet on what animal he would be, but in the morning, they couldn’t find him. They knew he was hiding somewhere, so they started searching.

Eventually, Nursey and Chowder joined the search party. They searched the whole main floor and the upstairs, but they couldn’t find him. The only place they hadn’t checked was the basement. Nursey decided to do a quick check, and as he got down he spotted something moving.

“I think I found him!” He yelled for the others upstairs.

“Then hurry up and bring him back upstairs, because I am not going down into that creepy basement,” Ransom yelled back.

Nursey started searching the area and soon enough he found a fox, curled up into a ball, hiding in a corner behind a few boxes.

“There you are, you stubborn asshole. I bet you were planning to hide down here all day,” Nursey said.

The fox growled and backed up against the wall.

“Don’t growl at me. Come on now, let’s go back upstairs.”

Nursey tried to grab him, but Dex kept trying to bite him whenever he made a move. Nursey had always thought that Dex could be qualified as feral, but this was a whole new level. Eventually, he was able to grab the fox’s mouth in a firm grasp so Dex couldn’t bite him and finally picked him up.

“Good boy,” Nursey smirked as Dex was still growling.

He brought him back upstairs, and they closed the door. Ransom gave 20 bucks to Holster, and Chowder immediately started to pet him.

“Oh my God, Dex!!! Your tail is so fluffy!!!” Chowder said excitedly.

“Careful, he tried to bite me down there,” Nursey told him, but Dex had stopped growling.

“He’s adorable!” Bitty said, petting his ears.

After a minute, Dex started squirming and whining, so Nursey released him. Dex ran away, with Chowder running after him, telling him to come back. Bitty was able to bribe him out of his hiding place with pie, and Chowder took the chance to pet him the entire time Dex was eating.

Later in the day, Nursey decided to do his reading on the couch, and surprisingly, Dex decided to join him by hopping on his chest and curling up into an adorable ball of furr. Nursey smiled and petted him a little while he was finishing his book, but he fell asleep, too tired to finish.

He woke up in the middle of the night because he felt something heavy on him. He opened his eyes, and Dex was curled up against his side, looking comfortable. Nursey petted his hair and went back to sleep.

After that, the curse was gone and nothing of the sort happened again.


End file.
